When chairs attack

so this is a story about i don't know...
some chairs in this world are alive!!!. and if you sit on them they kill you. legened humps it that if you sit in a living chair the side way flat thing gets spikes and smashes you and eats you!!!
so once i sat in a chair and it became stuck to meh butt forevers and one day'y day. the chair grew spikes and the spikes went into meh ass and the 2 platforms on it smashed meh but i was still alive so the chair legs started running and making me hit walls its legs then went the opsisite way in meh ass and it ate me.